Hannah Grage: Quick Recap

Friday, July 2, 2010

Quick Recap

This time around the chemo is behaving exactly as they expected. All her blood counts are down, red, platelet, white, and ANC. The ANC went from 1070 on Tuesday to 536 on Thursday. We will see tomorrow is she needs a transfusion of platelets or red blood. Starting Tuesday she will move to two other types of chemo medicine. She will remain on those until July 20. If her counts are up at the July 20th appointment then we can begin Interim Maintenance (IM) which is the next phase of treatment. Also, on July 21 she will have her next bone marrow aspiration (BMA). The results of that will let us know how much cancer is left in her body.

Also, Andrew came with us on Wednesday and had a great time. So, for Thursday and Friday BOTH boys wanted to come. They have decided that was enough hospital time and are not coming tomorrow.

Every now and then, I have a hard time with the fact that all Hannah ever sees anymore is the inside of the hospital or the inside of our house. Since April, and this is just the beginning. It is going to be awhile before she has enough of an immune system to be a normal child. My heart breaks for her as she tries to remember the songs from preschool or the sequence of morning circle time. Of course, there are those crazy boys and that ridiculous Rian... ;-)
Thank goodness we are a fun bunch!

Here is Hannah playing with the spinning wall contraption in the waiting room. It is everyone's fav.

Andrew and Hannah zoning out watching Bugs Life.

3 comments:

AnonymousJuly 3, 2010 at 11:57 AM
What a good big brother!
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AnonymousJuly 4, 2010 at 12:22 AM
You do have amazing children. Loved the dancing princess, man those boys are handsome. Looking forward to being part of your routine. All my love Thanks for sharing such a rich moment
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AnonymousJuly 4, 2010 at 12:30 PM
Hi...came across your blog via the WS Blog and I appreciate you taking the time to document this. I have to say that the "favorite Hannah picture" is just an awesome image capture. I love photography (and kids) and it makes me wonder if it might be the best 'kids photo' I've ever seen. It shows so much about her personality, and also just the carefree nature of kids and their simple pleasures. It's great. So, then I looked at the NEXT pic and obviously can see that Hannah loves her ballet. Has she ever had the chance to go to (or see) the PacNW Ballet's ballerinas practice up close (if not perform)? I imagine she'd love it...I live down on Valley St near Mercer and I see the ballerinas and their littler versions all going to practice in the morning when I go get coffee down there. If Hannah hasn't done that, I bet she'd love it (I am assuming they might let someone watch the practices in the background). If she isn't able to go outside, I wonder if a couple of ballerinas might come pay her a visit some day in her room? :) I know one of the PNB girls who lives in my building so I'll have to do some asking around...
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How we got Cancer

I have two amazing, handsome, sweet, funny boys, Andrew, 13 and Aaron, 8 years old. After years of thinking I would never know what ballet lessons were like, I also had Hannah. She is four years old. My three kids are all I could ask for and more.

In January, Hannah had pneumonia. She never seemed like herself after that. She had random fevers, she was tired often, and her coloring was off. I kept taking her to the doctor thinking she had a virus or something but it never got all the way better. The people at her preschool were also noticing these symptoms. The director of her preschool, Deb, had even called me, thinking maybe she had mono. The doctors thought maybe it was a sinus infection and put her on medicine.

On April 7th, 2010 she had a tummy ache at school, when I came to get her, she seemed ok. As I was reading her bedtime story that night I noticed her stomach looked VERY distended. I thought, in all my thirteen years of parenting, I had not seen that before. I called her doctor and the nurse asked me how quickly I could be at Children's. Rian stayed with the boys and I left the house still not convinced I wasn't over reacting to some possible gas.

I should have known something was not right at the ER, because everyone was being really, really nice to Hannah and I. After they drew some blood the doctor came in and told Hannah that a nurse would stay with her so that Mommy could get her some juice. I walked out of the room really thinking I was being led to where the juice boxes were! They took me into another room where the doctor turned to me and said, "We are going to do a test, the results will be back in an hour, but we think your daughter has Leukemia. We believe she has cancer." I was busy dismissing her in my head as the over reacting one while she listed the symptoms Hannah displayed that made her suspect it. Her stomach was distended and not because of gas. Her liver and spleen were enlarged. Her frequent fevers and fatigue. My brain kicked in at this point, so I protested, suggesting that mono, could also be the cause of enlarged organs, fatigue, and fever. She agreed but firmly stated she thought it was Leukemia. I went back to our room, no juice, refusing to except any of that. Every time I thought, what if they come in and tell me it's cancer, I immediatly put it out of my head. I was sure it was going to be mono.

After the longest hour ever went by, Hannah had fallen asleep on my lap and the doctor came back in. She said she was afraid she had bad news. They rest of that night has blurred into the rush of trying to process the wall of information they give you and surpress the "I'm going to go crazy right here" emotion that was filling my head. I was determined not to be the mom that fell apart. I just wanted to learn so I could help.

My best friend, Mackenzie, at nine months pregnant, thank you very much, came to the hospital at 3 am with only the words, Hannah has Leukemia. Together, we walked Hannah into her new world called, the 3rd Floor Cancer Unit at Children's Hospital. Walking in past that sign and knowing that was where they were taking my sweet baby girl was one of the single worst moments of my life. I almost lost it, except, Abby, our fellow(thats an important Dr. title) was standing there waiting for us. I had stubbornly, already promised myself I wasn't going to be breaking down in front of the people that I am now depending on to save Hannah's life.

The next few days were full of horrific tests and information. When they came back with the spinal tap results that showed the type of Leukemia she had, I did finally lose it. She has Leukemia ALL, which is the one with the highest cure rate. So, it was good news. I don't know why, but to me it meant that she really did have cancer. I went into the hall, sat on the floor, and cried my eyes out. I just couldn't stop. I had been feeling like if we just left, if I picked up Hannah and ran, then none of this would be real.

What I found out, was that we are going to be ok, that there are funny, dear moments even when going through crappy chemo, and that we have a whole LOT of wonderful people in our lives. I thank God everyday for all of you and every precious moment I have on this earth with my family.

Hannah Grage

Favorite Hannah Picture

Hannah Ballerina

Play Time

Hannah's Room

Happier Hannah

Hannah sleeping 4-13-10

Preschool Friend's Art

Friday, July 2, 2010

Quick Recap

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How we got Cancer