Hannah Grage: Delayed Treatment

Friday, June 11, 2010

Delayed Treatment

We hit a snag in the road today. Hannah's next round of chemo was to start tomorrow and go through Tuesday. In order to start treatment though, her blood counts needed to be at a certain level. Unfortunately, her counts were not where we needed them to be. No chemo this weekend. We will go in on Monday and check again. Hopefully, they will have gone up enough to start chemo on Tuesday.

6 comments:

AnonymousJune 12, 2010 at 9:20 AM
Sorry her levels weren't where they should be....BUT...enjoy the sunny weekend with no chemo!

Liz
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CarrieJune 12, 2010 at 12:27 PM
Thanks Liz! Your comments are always so nice to read. You are awesome. I am trying to be happy about the break, but stress is creeping in.
Can you believe the weather? It is very similar to this season I have heard of before. Summer, yes, I think it is called Summer!
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AnonymousJune 13, 2010 at 11:46 PM
Carrie,
Haven't posted in a while, but wanted you to know that I think of you often, and miss you and Hannah at the YMCA greatly. I so admire your positive and upbeat attitude on things, and I really appreciate you sharing info on the blog. I do better with more info, as it keeps my mind focused on the here and now. I still really would love to see Hannah (she has a truly special place in my heart) somehow, but not sure how to arrange it - are Saturdays ever an option? Just checking, as that's pretty much my only window...
Sending love and goooood thoughts for you and Hannah!
Teacher Martha
206.283.8440
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AnonymousJune 13, 2010 at 11:48 PM
P.S. Carrie, also meant to write "would love to see Hannah AND you" in last message... didn't mean to leave you out... I sure wish I knew what I could contribute to help somehow with everything. For now, I will continue to send love!
Teacher Martha
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the mcclenahansJune 14, 2010 at 1:03 PM
Thanks for visiting my blog. Your Hannah is precious. Praying that you would cling to the Almighty God as you travel this hard road with your daughter.
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JenJune 14, 2010 at 4:10 PM
Snags in the road stink but she will get there I know it!!!! I am praying so hard for Hannah! Wish I had more to say or something that meant something but I'm just not good at all that :(
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How we got Cancer

I have two amazing, handsome, sweet, funny boys, Andrew, 13 and Aaron, 8 years old. After years of thinking I would never know what ballet lessons were like, I also had Hannah. She is four years old. My three kids are all I could ask for and more.

In January, Hannah had pneumonia. She never seemed like herself after that. She had random fevers, she was tired often, and her coloring was off. I kept taking her to the doctor thinking she had a virus or something but it never got all the way better. The people at her preschool were also noticing these symptoms. The director of her preschool, Deb, had even called me, thinking maybe she had mono. The doctors thought maybe it was a sinus infection and put her on medicine.

On April 7th, 2010 she had a tummy ache at school, when I came to get her, she seemed ok. As I was reading her bedtime story that night I noticed her stomach looked VERY distended. I thought, in all my thirteen years of parenting, I had not seen that before. I called her doctor and the nurse asked me how quickly I could be at Children's. Rian stayed with the boys and I left the house still not convinced I wasn't over reacting to some possible gas.

I should have known something was not right at the ER, because everyone was being really, really nice to Hannah and I. After they drew some blood the doctor came in and told Hannah that a nurse would stay with her so that Mommy could get her some juice. I walked out of the room really thinking I was being led to where the juice boxes were! They took me into another room where the doctor turned to me and said, "We are going to do a test, the results will be back in an hour, but we think your daughter has Leukemia. We believe she has cancer." I was busy dismissing her in my head as the over reacting one while she listed the symptoms Hannah displayed that made her suspect it. Her stomach was distended and not because of gas. Her liver and spleen were enlarged. Her frequent fevers and fatigue. My brain kicked in at this point, so I protested, suggesting that mono, could also be the cause of enlarged organs, fatigue, and fever. She agreed but firmly stated she thought it was Leukemia. I went back to our room, no juice, refusing to except any of that. Every time I thought, what if they come in and tell me it's cancer, I immediatly put it out of my head. I was sure it was going to be mono.

After the longest hour ever went by, Hannah had fallen asleep on my lap and the doctor came back in. She said she was afraid she had bad news. They rest of that night has blurred into the rush of trying to process the wall of information they give you and surpress the "I'm going to go crazy right here" emotion that was filling my head. I was determined not to be the mom that fell apart. I just wanted to learn so I could help.

My best friend, Mackenzie, at nine months pregnant, thank you very much, came to the hospital at 3 am with only the words, Hannah has Leukemia. Together, we walked Hannah into her new world called, the 3rd Floor Cancer Unit at Children's Hospital. Walking in past that sign and knowing that was where they were taking my sweet baby girl was one of the single worst moments of my life. I almost lost it, except, Abby, our fellow(thats an important Dr. title) was standing there waiting for us. I had stubbornly, already promised myself I wasn't going to be breaking down in front of the people that I am now depending on to save Hannah's life.

The next few days were full of horrific tests and information. When they came back with the spinal tap results that showed the type of Leukemia she had, I did finally lose it. She has Leukemia ALL, which is the one with the highest cure rate. So, it was good news. I don't know why, but to me it meant that she really did have cancer. I went into the hall, sat on the floor, and cried my eyes out. I just couldn't stop. I had been feeling like if we just left, if I picked up Hannah and ran, then none of this would be real.

What I found out, was that we are going to be ok, that there are funny, dear moments even when going through crappy chemo, and that we have a whole LOT of wonderful people in our lives. I thank God everyday for all of you and every precious moment I have on this earth with my family.

Hannah Grage

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Hannah sleeping 4-13-10

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Friday, June 11, 2010

Delayed Treatment

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