Stupid, Stupid Cancer

We went in for a weight check Friday. She has lost weight. She will get the feeding tube. Monday. I will get a class on how to take care of my baby with a feeding tube.

Yesterday, I felt cut off at the knees over this one. Hannah was really mad at first. She yelled that she would rip that tube right out. I felt so bad for her. She is settling into the idea a bit more now.

We tried everything and fought so hard to avoid this. There is no getting around the fact that she will have to deal with more uncomfortable, crappy things to fight cancer. I was really hoping to spare her this one. The tube goes down the nose into the stomach. From the nose, the tube is taped to the side of the face and attached to a backpack with a machine that dispenses liquid food. The machine vibrates and hums.

In the end, the girl needs some calories. This will be a huge benefit to her even if it is awkward at first. It will help with her nausea and give her more energy. I am told it will actually be a relief once she gets over that the tube is there. I'm sure that's true. It's a long fight, Leukemia. I tell you what, despite the pain, or tears, Hannah has the fight in her.