Thursday, April 7, 2011
This day last year was her last day of preschool. I didn't know that when I dropped her off. I didn't know that evening I would take her to Children's ER and she would never go back. Her life has changed so much. To be a normal kid playing with friends one day and be thrown in the crazy of hospital life with all the bad tasting medicine and needles...
My heart aches for the life she lost. I remember the first few days in the hospital she would press her forehead against mine and beg, plead with me to take her home. I couldn't. I couldn't take her home and I couldn't make it better.
Tomorrow is the actual one year of diagnosis. She was diagnosed at around 1:30 am. So, her diagnosaversary, as it were, is Friday. To me, it will always be April 7th. That is the day I took her to the ER and one in the morning does not feel like the next day if you haven't gone to bed!
I am really down today about it. I woke up with a lump in my throat. As weird as this seems, I actually have a special day (aside from a few hours getting chemo) planned for Hannah on Friday. I got her a present and we are going to do something fun. I want it to be like a little party each year instead of a date that makes us sad. She is amazing and I want to celebrate that. I want tomorrow to be a positive day. So, I am going to pull it together. I just needed to vent today. It's a hard one for me.
Love this picture