Favorite Hannah Picture

Favorite Hannah Picture
"Yes, the park!"

Hannah Ballerina

Hannah Ballerina

Play Time

Play Time
"Go super fast!"

Hannah's Room

Hannah's Room

Happier Hannah

Happier Hannah

Hannah sleeping 4-13-10

Hannah sleeping 4-13-10

Preschool Friend's Art

Preschool Friend's Art
Yeah! Friends!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Temperamental

There is something about having a really low ANC, overall immunity blood count, that makes Hannah a little on the ragey side. She just doesn't seem to be able to handle much.

I know this, because, she said pretty close to exactly that, on Tuesday. She wanted to watch a movie. When I asked which one, she lost it. Her hands covering her ears, screaming that she just can't handle that right now. As obstinate as that sounds, she actually looked panicked. I went ahead and picked out the movie for her.

This week has been a tricky egg shell walk for everyone in our household. We almost lost the nanny. She was feeling like her presence was an added irritant to Hannah and that she wasn't helping her. After being assured she wasn't an irritant, would be impossible to replace, and that helping Hannah's mommy stay employed WAS helping, she seemed to feel better.

It is a fine line to walk, for me as well. Which behaviors do I take on, and what ones do I just hold her though? Hannah snaps at the slightest thing, has patience for nothing, but wants to have us all around. The frustration level is high. I keep trying to remind everyone, myself included, to keep the bigger picture in mind. A walk in her shoes would surely grant us the insight to understand her moods.


Me and The Grump, after she just yelled for no one to look at her OR talk to her. Of course, the picture was taken anyway. Sibling fights.


As for her chemo treatment, it is still on hold while we wait for her blood counts to hit that magic 750 number. At Friday's appointment, we found out that her ANC was close, at 640. There is already a difference in attitude. I think she will be at 750 by this Friday.

12 comments:

  1. Poor Hannah! I cannot imagine. I'm a crabby grump when I have a cold or just don't feel quite right!
    We saw a little girl at Starbucks the other day who had lost all her hair due to her chemo treatments and we all thought of Hannah. the kids each looked up at me and asked "can we PLEASE go visit her?!"
    Since we're all healthy, I'd really like to... but I think I'll leave Kara with a sitter, since she might be a little squirmy. I'll email you :)

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  2. Just hang in there! Maybe treat yourself, nanny, and Hannah to ice cream and shopping or something once she's feeling better too, and put this phase behind you all. :)

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  3. Sorry it's been a rough week. I don't blame Hannah at all for being on edge...completely understandable.

    You looked absolutely beautiful on Friday night Carrie. You hold yourself with such grace and dignity in the face of such difficulty.

    Hugs to all, Liz

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  4. Hannah's moods (while completely understandable) must be so difficult for your entire family. It would be wonderful if you could fit in a special treat or outing that the family could do together. I think it's also important for you to try to find (I know how difficult that is!) some time to pamper yourself.

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  5. I can't even imagine this. I can't. I know my 3 boys have asthma, and when their asthma kicks in, so do their moods.

    They don't like it.

    Not one bit.

    My prayers are going up till her count hits the magic number of 750.

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  6. So glad to hear her count is fast approaching the magic number. You must have been so constantly tense on hearing the 0 count. Best of luck with the next week. Hard for Hannah and hard for her Mum. xx

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  7. Sometimes these 5 year olds can be such a challenge and I can't imagine the added stress of cancer and feeling crummy on top of that. Hang in there! Kathy

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  8. Hannah's lucky she has Carebear for a mom. :)

    Praying that things improve soon.
    <3 Sarah

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  9. Thanks guys! I feel like Hannah has had a harder time of it since the end of November. I hope it gets better soon, too!

    Liz, you looked beautiful as well! The Christmas party was such a great time. Perfect reality escape.

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  10. Awwww . . .

    She is very self-aware for a 5 year old, you know. Even though she was screaming? Her statement that she just handle making a movie decision right now?

    What a big girl.

    What a lucky mom you are.

    This must be so hard.

    But your daughter is awesome.

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  11. Oops . . . her statement that she CAN'T handle the movie decision.

    Left out a key word.

    Oops.

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  12. Yep, she is awesome. She is way more the "What did you say to me?" type then the "Why me?" kind. Also, "I don't even think you're beautiful!" is still her favorite insult to me when she is mad beyond reason.

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