Weight Check Friday, Again

After Monday, Hannah had a very uneventful week. She has had her usual chemo related issues, pain in legs, tingling hands and feet, nausea. However, she has been in a good mood and her usual fun self. Her brother Aaron, this week, crashed on his bike into a metal light post, cheek first. He survived. We all had a very funny time coming up with, how'd you get that bruise, stories that he could tell at school. Rain's tale of a kitten and a cupcake was EPIC. I will save it for another time.

We are headed in today to check her weight. Since this has been a very well discussed topic, instead of sharing our worries of the feeding tube, I am going to share some random funny pictures from this summer. It is probably more of a distraction for me, but I hope it works for you too. ;-)


Mackenzie, Brian(not pictured) and their baby, Cadence, came over for dinner. I had just moved in, so no pictures on the walls yet.


Cadence loves her toes!



Kids in backyard on wood swing/slide play structure.




Something we call Mean Mugging!






My co-worker Duane, and I mean mugging at this year's Smacna Crab Feed. The temptation to smile is overwhelming.


Happy Friday, everybody!

Hostage Negotiator

Hannah had chemo today. It is actually the last treatment of the IM phase. In this, IM phase, we don't go in for chemo as often. Straight out the gate that makes the appointments a little harder because she is not as used to them.

I often joke that, with Hannah on chemo drugs, my job now, has become, Hostage Negotiator. Talking her down from the ledge of tantrum is sometimes just part of the tasks. Luckily, she becomes very reasonable fast. She also jumps from calm to screaming angry, fast. Thanks to many books on Leukemia, I was at least not unaware this would be the scenario. I have to say, I was unprepared for today.

She had quite the fit just to leave for the hospital. Once we were there it went alright, although, I did have to use some of my Negotiator skills to get through the port accessing and the drawing of blood. Hey, who likes being stuck with big needles?

The trouble really started with the crazy wait once we were in our room. It took a little over 2-1/2 hours for her labs to come back. Finally, our Dr. came in to say, that they were not back yet, but we could go to lunch downstairs while we waited if we wanted. In front of Hannah. Thank you for that.

Of course, Hannah loved the idea and was getting shoes ready! The Dr. walked out and in the time it took to get one of Hannah's shoes on, came back in with the labs we had been waiting on. In order for Hannah to get her chemo today we needed her labs showing us her blood counts were high enough to support it. Turns out, there were, and instead of lunch we would be heading over to the infusion room for chemo.

That is when it began.

She was saying loudly that she did not want medicine. I was using the first stage of skill by letting her know it was just through the tubies and not her mouth. She started screaming. I set her down in the big green chair in her new room. She got right up and ran. She actually faked left first. She made it half way down the hall. You should have seen the look on the nurses faces. I caught her brought her back and started what I had thought was a pretty impressive Negotiation. Then, the nurse came in with oral meds. It was the Zofran for nausea, so not actual chemo, but killing my credibility all the same.

Hannah was literally screaming at the top of her lungs. She was kicking, hitting, twisting, anything to get out of there. We had to hold her down for the meds. She spit at us. She screamed she hated me, she screamed the nurses were brats, (which I initially thought might have been another word, but after hearing it again, it was brat). She wanted out of there at any cost. In that moment, talking her down from crazy was not possible.

After it was over, we made a beeline for the door. By the time we were in the car she was full of the sorry mommy stuff that helps me know she is ok. For me, today was such a FAIL. I have been over and over it for next time. I should have made a plan with her before we went to infusion room about the lunch. It is just those little details that helps her and I missed it.

Tomorrow is another day and we will try again.

We Compromised

Hannah made weight on Friday. Not by much, though. She has been at or below weight now for almost a month, so, her nutritionist, Mary, wanted to discuss what we can do.

I was surprised she even made weight. The only thing she consistently ate were pickles. However, I never stopped making her food. It really felt like I was always making her something that she either completely rejected or only took a couple bites. Somewhere in the tasting of those distasteful dishes, she kept up her weight.

Still, sporadic eating is not a real solid long term plan. She really needs protein so that she can keep those muscles around. The feeding tube would deliver that for her in a liquid form and avoid that whole yucky food thing. Liquids, however, were something that Hannah was a champ at ingesting. She drinks at least ten to twelve cups a day of apple juice or milk.

So, what Mary suggested was that we take the protein powder that makes the feeding tube formula and mix it in either apple juice or milk. Hannah would have to be able to take this "formula" by mouth instead of routing it through a tube down her nose.

It worked. She will not only drink it, but the powder can be mixed in other things too; soup, mashed potatoes, or other things that disguise the smell. That's the one problem, wow, does it stink. Insulated cups with lids and straws apparently, hide the smell from Hannah, and we are in business!



Hannah being silly!

Weight Check Friday

I could literally start calling Fridays, Weight Check Friday. We seem to have one every week.

Last week I was on the confident side on the scale. This week...
Well, let's just say that I checked the label on the jar and there are only 5 little calories in a pickle. Five. Despite everyone's constant efforts as the best short order cooks in town, pickles, are the main thing that she has been willing to eat.

I can't even begin to explain how feeding this child has consumed our lives. The amount I am able to get in her keeps me up at night. This must be the point those other parents were talking about when they felt relief at the tube finally going in. I still don't wish that for her, but right now, I might understand where they are coming from.

Hannah, however, never gives up. Knowing what tomorrow is, she has done her best to eat more. Tonight is a PTA support night at a local pizzeria. For every pie you buy a portion will go to the PTA. Hannah says she wants to go and eat lots of pizza. Fortunately, her ANC is high enough for me to comply and God knows she needs the calories. So, with an abnormal supply of hand sanitizer/ disinfectant wipes, we are off to eat pizza and support the PTA!

Gold Ribbons, Please

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. The ribbon color for Childhood Cancer is gold.

The pink ribbon for breast cancer has been a huge success with raising awareness and funding. As for childhood cancer, in terms of chemo drugs, long term side effects, and research needed for kids, who despite great odds, seem unaffected by chemo (such as our little Banana), there is still a ton of work to be done.

It would be great to take the breast cancer model and have it work in bringing awareness for our cancer kiddos. So, for this month, if you got gold, or can get it, please, wear it!

Spinal Taps & Low Counts

According to Hannah's protocol, in this phase of treatment, she will be receiving an escalating dose of IV methotrexate, until the point her body cannot tolerate it anymore. That point is determined by her blood counts and ANC levels.

Yesterday, her ANC had slipped just below the acceptable levels for continuing on the higher doses of IV Mtx. They skipped giving her that yesterday and the next time she does receive it, the dose will only be 80% of the amount last given.

I am happy for Hannah that she doesn't have to endure more intense doses for now, and a little concerned that she only made it through one round of the escalating chemo.

So, yesterday she only received two types of chemo, one in her spinal fluid and one through an IV. Hannah goes under for the spinal chemo. It is something I am never going to get used to, but I am glad she hasn't been waking up with screaming rages anymore.

This time it took her awhile to awake. I guess she really wanted a nap! Her little face looked so peaceful amid all the wires. It is definitely a different road we are on.

First Day of School

Andrew, Maddie, Taylor, and Aaron

Yesterday, was Andrew and Aaron's first day of school at their new schools. I didn't get to be there for them as Hannah had a spinal procedure that required us to be at Children's at 8am. Instead, I took them over to Rian's house and he took all the kids in.

Apparently, the boys had a fantastic first day. They met lots of new friends and both say they love their new schools. Thank god for that! They have to wear uniforms, even though they are public schools. I love that. It really keeps back to school shopping costs low! Andrew, especially, had issue with the wearing of uniforms until after his first day. Now, he says the kids all look sharp and it helps with the, do my clothes look cool, anxiety.

Hannah doesn't start school until next year, but she did get new shoes and a cool new sparkly hat!